Frequently Asked Questions – Manhattan Swim

How long will it take?

Probably between 8 and 9 hours. The 28.5 mile course is partially tide assisted which will help, although the start is into the tide and you have to swim hard from the off. Once reaching the Hudson the tide should be strongly favourable.

Pre-race preparation

On the evening before the race I have carefully devised the following pre-race routine:

• Drink at least 10 litres of Evian
• Piss like a race-horse
• Listen to Tweeter and Monkey Man
• Become generally very irritable
• Sleep fitfully.

Things always improve when the race is underway – I never enjoy the build up.

Do you wear a wet suit?

No. Wet suits are banned – and are viewed with distain by the General.

What do you think about?

Among other things:
• “Are we nearly there yet”
• “Can I have some more maxim please”
• “Are we past the sewer yet”
• “Where oh where oh where oh where is the sun”
• “Is that a dead dog that just went past”
• “Am I beating Conor? - I don’t fancy paying out on our bet”
• “Was that a dead dog or was it Conor trying to sneak past”
• “I am going to have the biggest steak in New York tonight”
• ”Oh look, there is Brooklyn Bridge isn’t it marvellous”
• “What noise does a bear make?”
• “Roy Keane wouldn’t get out” and so forth.....

”1, 2, 3 breathe, 1, 2, 3 breathe….” Is also a popular thought although not one of the more interesting. Happily the more tired you get, the less you think and often the first couple of hours can be harder than the end.

Do you have a boat to follow you?

Yes – and two kayakers. In fact, I will be following the boat rather than vice versa. It’s very hard to see anything from water level so I hope to have a good captain who knows the fastest line.

Is the water disgusting?

I’ve never been in any of the rivers, although there are a couple of sewers on the way round to avoid, and I have been repeatedly advised by past participants to keep my mouth shut… See dead dog competition.

Do you have a crew:

Yes - I am lucky to have assembled a crack crew:

• Christina, my girlfriend, channel swimmer and onboard doctor. Comes armed with gags and a bag of drugs
• Matt, my school friend, dodgy swimmer, guitarist. Soon to be married. Not as fast as he used to be - wanted to be the support swimmer but can’t keep up
• Moo – photos and endless chatter. Also in charge of balloons for the kayaks.