This fortnight’s competition is to think of something else for the boat that might come in handy.
The winner gets a bottle of Veuve Clicquot and some Haricot Vert. Enter now by leaving a comment against this article……
Selection of items from kit list
- Seasickness tablets
- List of personal questions & answers (hypothermia)
- Lightsticks (green) & string (for boat at night)
- Shower gel/shampoo for grease removal
- Money
- Passport (swimmer and all crew)
- Large water-proof carry-alls for gear and drinks
- Razor & gel for good clean shave
- Ibuprofen or aspirin (for pain/inflamation), Paracetemol (for pain)
- Anti-hystamine for jelly fish stings (non-drowsy- test)
- Vaseline, Channel grease
- Plastic gloves
- Used pairs of goggles (1 clear for dark swimming)
- Antifog spray
- Used swimming costume
- Silicon swim hats (bright colour)
- Maxim/energy drink (as previously tested)
- Maxim electrolyte
- Fruit sugar
- Bottled water (500ml for ease of pouring) x many
- Spoon for drink preparation, Measuring jug
- Bananas, Peaches, Cadbury rolls/cake, Milky Ways, Jelly Beans
- Tea, coffee - ready made in flask
- Paper cups - 8oz biodegradeable
- Feeding bottle, Rope for feeding bottle
NOTE: I favour that Kate Moss would be a useful addition to any boat - and if you can arrange it I'm fairly confident you’ll get the champers and beans - however, unless you are Philip Green please come up with something else.
8 comments:
Suncream, to avoid continued - or possibly much worsened - comic two-toned face effect.
A heated condom - I know when I go running my n*b can get very cold so I sympathise with you swimming in the freezing sea for so many hours.
the largest van that will fit (for the cheap wine / beer / fags to enjoy and sell on your return!)
1 outboard wave compressor to flatten waves within 10 metres of the boat
Celine Dion - singing very loudly - so that you swim faster in a vain attempt to get out of earshot. May also help with the A-Z game?
Jesus would be helpful - Clearly for some spiritual guidance - but if things aren't looking good he can part the seas and you can walk for a bit. Or perhaps he could turn the water into wine just to make things a bit more interesting. Ultimately as a carpenter he could also knock up a raft or similar in the eventuality one was required. At the very least he's not short of a story to keep the crew interested. Bring Jesus!
Okay Moses did the Red Sea but I bet Jesus could do it as well. Or lets have Moses on as well.
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